Bubbles

Something disheartening happened over the weekend. a dear Friend noticed that Si Dia was being cold towards me on our regular weekend outings.. well, the actual fact is it has been like that for the past weeks. not too cold lah.. just cold… The Friend also sees that Si Dia was ignoring me.. I told the friend, i dah mcm ter immune sikit. so i didnt feel ignored.. he was indeed busy and his schedule as far as im concerned is endless until new year..

But my conversation with the friend later that night struck me big time! intipati dia biarlah menjadi rahsia. Conclusionnya adalah, IF.. i repeat IF.. if aku rasa that si Dia dah berubah hati (due to many circumstances and reasons yang biarlah menjadi rahsia jugak)… aku should let go, keep my pride and move on..  IF ok…

tapi hati aku kuat rasa tak.. and to be honest, walaupun i didnt sleep a second after that conversation until now, almost 24 hrs later.. im not upset. rather, i feel at ease sebab aku finally figured out… I’m not in love YET dengan si Dia.. noticed i used the word YET.. that means, in times to come, i MAY or MIGHT, SHALL or WILL INDEED fall in love. but the more important issue that needs to be addressed here is that, at this very instance, I WANT HIM.. yes, that’s it.. AKU TIDAK MENCINTAI bahkan HANYA INGIN MEMILIKI si Dia… 

i guess that’s why at this point of time im not that hurt…. also this means that i can give him the time and space he needs and deserve as well as let this feeling of INGIN MEMILIKI to bloom into LOVE..
Yes, aku sayang sangat sangat sangat sangat dgn Si Dia… tapi adakah aku mencintai dia?? 
yang pasti statement terkahir ku sama seperti sebelum ini…

Kalau Si Dia terbaca… I want to grow old with you.. I want to spend my life with you.. and I want to learn how to love you.. Hence, take all the space and time you need.. God’s will, we shall indeed be an item…. but until then, aku tetap sayang kamu…